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married to her (debut album)

by eva ȧjbrin

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1.
warmly 05:30
___________________________________________ lyrics: We didn’t talk too much... Or maybe we just talked the words Into meaninglessness, mum. It all wasn’t easy... right? You left me a new scarf And soon your smile was gone... So long before mine was even born. Oh, but at least I do now feel the warmth… Mum… Mama… I... I will dress warmly, Oh, I do remember mum, Well… I will dress warmly, I still remember your smile - That fragile butterfly! Oh, butterfly… Mmm… You’re always on my mind, Even though the winter wind has blown away This soft sweet flower of mine, But probably not just this one. Oh, I know too well That the vibrant film never stops to play... Though for one it freezes… numb. Dozens of thoughts not worth a dime now... Mum… Mama…. I... I will dress warmly, Oh, I do remember mum, Well… I will dress warmly, I still remember your smile - That fragile butterfly! Oh, butterfly… Mmm... But I do now, finally, feel the warmth... Mum, your warmth.
2.
__________________________________ lyrics: Short little breaths, Short little breaths, Short little life, So many breaks, [Short little breaths, Short little breaths...] Short little breaths! [You've set yourself up To be the real...] Ah, oh, I’m the la… I’m the laughingstock Of this mob. When things get out of hand Try slowing your roll, aha... Oh, I'm just here but Just don't mind me! It ain't no way out! Into the nose... Out! Out through the mouth... Keep going, you'll reach it! So to take the edge off and get me Situated I'll just Be the perfect Wallflower for now. Under that table... [no, fight] [Look it in the eye!] Oh could I… Keep your cool... Keep your cool... [Keep your cool!] I gotta remain my cool... Fight flight freeze... Do not ever give in! A powerful grip! Oh, air, air, breathe in deep! Just a sip, gimme! The air is so sharp and it’s Cutting and moving, all around, crazy... Still going round, [and round, and round and round, and round and round and round...] There’s a storm in my mind! Ah… [Often just a whisper is enough...] [Spill the secret] Spill the secret [Do it now] Do it now [You may win] You may lose [You may try] You just try! [You won’t drown!] [Vicious robbery] Don't die yet [Claim the heaven back] Claim your heaven... [Liquid light...] Back… [...from your eyes…] Talk to me [Talk to me...] Allow yourself To be found. Your liquid light, It will guide. And I won’t mind...
3.
roe deer 03:09
___________________________________________ lyrics: [Your wet beard and your cigar... And those blue eyes, and those blue eyes… Would you do that once more? Are you god? Or are you too great for that role?] I'm not a nice fast car and I'm not a pair of boobs. And I don't need your Stupid greedy stare on me, on me, oh. I'm not a roe deer you can hunt! Nor an animal in a cage. Or an object you Secretly record for fun, your fun, your fuckin’ fun. I'm not a piece of meat. And I'm not a walking hole, into which You just whack, oh whack, oh whack, oh whack, your, your, your, your, oh... I am also not your mummy, so don't run to me when sad. Go and surf the net for what you need. Oh, you’re so good at that, oh baby, you’re so good at that, oh, you’re so good at that... I'm not a land you can take by force. I'm not a share that you may buy. Oh, I can give it all... Just remember that I feel, I feel, oh... [Are you god? Or are you too great for that role?] I'm not a piece of meat. And I'm not a walking hole, into which You just whack, oh whack, oh whack, oh whack, your, your, your, your, oh... Stick.
4.
voodoo doll 03:46
___________________________________________ lyrics: My thoughts are swirling, My thoughts are swirling! Ah, let me live! Let me have a form! Let me try to be me! Let me try to be here! Let me have boundaries! And you, universe... [Pull out the] needles from the voodoo doll - She no longer needs them! Pull out the needles from the voodoo doll - She now understands she hates them! Pull out the needles…. From the voodoo doll! My thoughts were swirling. My thoughts were swirling. Yeah, but now I can breathe! And now it is gonna be fine. And eventually even better, So listen my dear cat, The toy’s gonna face your pawn! Hey there kitty! I’m coming for you! [And I’ll start playing with you] There’s nowhere else than now and here, I will finally make friends with you dear. I do have some wool... And some other tool, too! [Pull out the] needles from the voodoo doll - She no longer needs them! [From the voodoo doll...] Pull out the needles from the voodoo doll - She now understands she hates them! [...now!] Pull out the needles from the voodoo doll - [Pull out the] needles from the voodoo doll - She no longer needs them! [from the voodoo doll...] Pull out the needles from the voodoo doll - She now understands she hates them! [...now!] Pull out the needles from the voodoo doll - She does not think being a victim is fun, no, not anymore...
5.
the cat 04:14
___________________________________________ lyrics: Time passes. Time passes. Oops, some time has passed. You can tell that watching the decaying cat by the path. Yet, everything's gonna be fine by night. Time passes when you pass the cats... Passing your life on passing the cats in a… Place where you don’t wanna be is nuts. Even though you’ve lived the same day, oh, a hundred times. There is always some variety, or at least a decaying cat, right? Time passes, and so do you! Time passes when you pass the cats... Passing your life on passing the time in a… Place where you don’t wanna be is nuts. Oh the time passes when you pass the cats. Time passes when you pass the cats. Yet everything’s gonna be fine by night. Passing your life on passing the time in a... Place where you don’t wanna be is nuts.
6.
___________________________________________ lyrics: And so I thought... Why not dive deeper? And isolate my soul from the empty chaos And all the screaming, And all their commandments, yes - Their frozen, their frozen hell, their frozen hell. And their… shriek! Oh, and the rattle of void! Rattle of void. Emptiness. And now sweet silence Just my sky… Oh well - I’m like a siren, like a siren. Will you hear me sing? Will you join my new world? Deep under the noise... And their… shriek! Oh, and the rattle of void! Rattle of void. Emptiness. So will you dive? Just… Just like I did. The noisy parade is still marching above and... They are shouting loud, Oh, will you dare? Oh, will you notice ... Will you notice me? Will you notice me there? Under the noise…. Oh, and the he rattle of void! Rattle of void. Emptiness. Oh, and the rattle of void! Rattle of void. Emptiness. Silence, just her world and her. Like a siren under the noise... Oh, will you hear her hum? Will you enter her world? Her heart? Will you notice…? Will you notice me there? Hold your breath…. And...
7.
blue time 04:57
___________________________________________ lyrics: Tonight fog pearled every spiders' web, But the January blues’s still hanging around... And tonight I longed for feeling Your heart beating right… under mine. One two, one two, one two... There we go, my nightly blues. This little blues, still hanging around. Here the trees are covered with diamonds And there are lots of sparks in the air, And I was listening to the silence, And when I turned – you weren’t there. One two, one two, one two... There we go, my nightly blues. This little blues, still hanging around. Oh… Where you are the trees are Most probably blooming now. Oh, I hope the spring time here... will… Blow out this spark And I know that you’re fine, And though you’ll never be ‘mine’... I will close my eyes, yes... Just remembering your strength, So close to my doubt. When you come back, Will I be the person You’ll want to find? Now this heartbeat won’t be my lullaby... But let’s acknowledge that it was high time. Well… will the sparkling blue time be on my side? ‘tis my January blues... Oh, I just miss you, on my right… Will the wind ever come?
8.
the gift 04:08
___________________________________________ lyrics: The gift that we were given – We sometimes don’t know what to do with it, Or how to lift it, yes... How to handle it, How to carry it, How to cope with it How to cope with it.. But… Someone’s gonna miss you... Your dark hair – if you go, Your blue eyes – if you go, Your small nose – if you go, Your warm hands – if you go, Warm hands – if you go. We cannot really grasp it – We can keep unwrapping it, Or keep pushing it away... Keep rejecting it, yeah, Or keep discovering, But I know that sometimes stillness is much comfier is much comfier…. But… Someone’s gonna miss you... Your dark hair – if you go, Your blue eyes – if you go, Your small nose – if you go, Your warm hands – if you go, Your warm hands – if you go. Sometimes I can feel it, But right after it’s over I cannot understand the feeling of it. I never walk through the door Behind which you stand. Yet I know you’re there. But never remember it When I’m back from there… and breathe. And I know that this parcel Cannot make you happy. Maybe it’s too heavy for you, Like that gift was a present For the buyer to... To have fun. Let me hold it and have a look. ‘cause… Someone’s gonna miss you darling…. Your dark hair, if you go, Your blue eyes, if you go Tender loving smile, too... Your warm hands... Don’t go!
9.
___________________________________________ lyrics: Obiorę sedno z niedomówień. Słowem, jak nożem. Aż utkwi w esencji mój cios. We were married before we even Had a chance to have an affair... Now I'm dating her, I think we won't part ever again. And I, I don't, I don’t wanna be able to love ‘Cause I just want to stay strong, Yet… she still keeps finding my homes And she's set on breaking all walls, all walls, all walls… Oh why wouldn't it be like that No, no… Nobody’s ever asked if that is a good match, that’s a good match, that’s a good match. No, ‘cause everybody thinks that is how it is supposed to be Can I lose myself because I keep dating... ME? Oh, a soul snatch… We were married before we even had a chance, a chance to meet. Now I’m slowly losing my fear At the little altar of her feet. And I, I think we are both too fierce to assess the risk, Hey, but what’s it gonna take ‘till I get convinced To put down my fists? Could we get this lovely cage to break? Do you… does soul exist? Oh why wouldn't it be like that No, no… Nobody’s ever asked if that is a good match, that’s a good match, that’s a good match. No, ‘cause everybody thinks that is how it is supposed to be Can I lose myself because I keep dating... ME? Oh, a soul snatch… I love you so much!
10.
___________________________________________ lyrics: In this world where even dogs are afraid of barking in the eye… I met a human being once, Not like a mussel. His walls were thinner than what’s in fashion now. That’s funny we’re still alive. Yet not together but It does not feel like it was true, true at all, true at all. I met a human being once And he showed me how the world’s been infested with walls. But what’s done is done - To keep going with the storm And push, push, push, push your head through them all is the goal. Now, old age makes me calmer, Old age makes me think... How overthinking can only shatter Your world, which doesn’t matter. Cherry snow quickly changes into Frozen stars - Falling down, falling down, Quickly falling down, falling down, mmm... I met a human being once And he showed me how the world’s been infested with walls. But what’s done is done - To keep going with the storm And push, push, push, push your head through them all is the goal.
11.
sedno 02:20
___________________________________________ lyrics: Obiorę sedno z niedomówień. Słowem, jak nożem. Aż utkwi w esencji mój cios. Z własnej niewoli, Będę drążyć, aż… Znajdzie spełnienie ta moja ciekawość, To uczucie… rzucane przez Ciebie na stos.

about

so... here's my debut album that i was working on for more than two years, it contains songs i wrote, in which i'm pouring my heart out... i have no idea about the theory of music or any rules on how songs should be made... so i decided i would keep my songs as they "came to me" on the first album :) hope you like them nevertheless! thanks for listening ♡ ♡

P.S. each song has a description in Polish and English :)

tak więc... popełniłam debiutancki album, którego możecie posłuchać tutaj :) pracowaliśmy nad nim ponad dwa lata. zawiera on piosenki, które napisałam i w których wyśpiewuję co leżało mi na sercu. nie posiadam niestety niemal żadnej wiedzy z teorii muzyki i nie znam zasad tworzenia piosenek, postanowiłam więc, że na pierwszej płycie zachowam je w formie, w jakiej do mnie "przyszły" :) mam nadzieję, że Wam się mimo to spodobają. dziękuję za słuchanie ♡ ♡

P.S. każda piosenka ma opis po polsku i angielsku :)

credits

released May 20, 2020

credits:

vocals, piano, lyrics, arrangements, production: eva ȧjbrin
Krzysztof Kokosiński - Grandma Enjoys Music home studio - mix, mastering, production, bass guitar, kazoo & lots and lots of support :)
Jason Parker - mix (sedno)
Natalia Paruzel-Satława - cello (blue time, warmly)
Wojciech Kanclerz - bass guitar (blue time)
Jessé Reis - violin (the cat)
Jurek Gibadło - backing vocals (voodoo doll)
Bartek Synowiec - didgeridoo (voodoo doll)

Jakub Piotr Biernacki - graphic design


special thanks go to / specjalne podziękowania dla:

Małgorzata Zuber - singing teacher / vocal coach
Tomasz Sikora, Dawid Halota, Łukasz Opaliński, Aleksandra Zgłobica, Aleksander Nowak, Jolanta Danek, Ryan Sears-Avery, Michał Moruś, Piotr Pydych, my parents.

And all of the people who were supporting me throughout the project <3

THANK YOU! DZIĘKUJĘ!


P.S. i will be doing my best to make a YouTube video about each song. stay tuned :)
P.S. dla każdej piosenki postaram się wyrzeźbić filmik na YouTube :)

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eva ȧjbrin Kraków, Poland

water told me what the forest hid... so now i've some stories to share...

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